You don’t have enemies
besides maybe yourself
All of us struggle with work, colleagues and family. Sometimes it feels like everyone is against you.
The main issue in this situation is following: you perceive the action of others as a direct attack against you, to make your life miserable. All you want is to be left alone with your task and not make it any more difficult than it has to be.
I felt that way, maybe you also feel it right now. Everything is just a perspective. Let me share my personal perspective with you.
Let’s see a situation at work:
Your boss is constantly yelling at people or maybe even you. The perception of it is usually “he/she hates me”, “my boss is a horrible person” and “why can’t he/she leave me alone, I don’t want my life to get any more difficult”. The thing is, your boss wants exactly the same. Your boss has a business to run, money to earn and his/her life gets difficult if either the clients or the worker mess up, most of the time it is a mix of both seasoned with a hand full of “lost in translation”.
Every time your boss is yelling, he/she doesn’t want the life they are having to get more difficult. They are not against you they are for themselves, exactly like you.
Now let’s move on to the enemy part.
For me an enemy is on the opposite side of fresh lovers on the Normal Distribution.
A fresh lover lives and breathes for their loved ones, their thoughts are racing and spinning around the concept of making their loved one happy, even at the expense of their own resources.
An enemy is exactly that, but on the other side. If somebody is declared an enemy of the state, resources are mobilised to fight this enemy. If two countries are enemies and go to war, they do it at expense of life, resources and common sense.
With this statement about enemies, take a little time and think of all the people who are laying awake at night and plotting against you and do things even if it hurts them financially or physically. I couldn’t think of any person who would do such things to me, they are merely annoyances in my everyday life. Their motivation is seldom beyond “selfishness”, the same selfishness that makes you feel annoyed.
Let’s spin it further, how many people are there for you to hate, have sleepless nights and plot revenge, even if it hurt you financially or physically?
In my case: NONE. I couldn’t come up with a single person I dislike enough to consider them my enemy and worth of my “war-effort”. Not one single person was worth my hate, not one particular wrongdoer surpassed the ‘dislike enough to avoid’ mark.
Wait … there is one. A person I think of during my sleepless nights, this person is sabotaging my live as if it would hate me. The only person that comes close enough to be my enemy is myself.
Next time you think that the person is against you, try to see the situation for what it is. They are just as selfish as you are and the conflict is there, just to find a reasoning, so that your both lives don’t get unnecessary difficult.
They are not against you, they are pro them!
